My Death Note…

Ah.. Life as a student. All of the sweet times you spent with your friends, those tiring times you spent cramming up,struggling for exam. Lots of things to try and experience. Well,get your pen and papers ready coz this is your lucky day. Here’s Kei’s Guide To Student Life For Dummies.

First up. Student. Are you a student? Merely graduated from high school? Hardly passed ur exam? Flunked ur matriculation? Well worry no more. You are a student goddamnit. The government paid billions for your education. At least have the heart to grab that paper and read,you piece of shit. Bottom line here, no matter how dumb you are, just accept the fact that you are a student.

2ndly,it gets more interesting here. Well,when u’r a student,u’r privileged to hundreds of advantages others cant have. "What,Prof Kei?", u may ask.. Asshole,watch around you,billions of chicks waiting to be fucked. Show off some talents. Dont be afraid to speak in English. (geez i wonder why chicks alwayz dig for that) Explore ur talents. Be a bad boy. (Chicks dig that BIG TIME.)

Next up..be the badass jerk u’ve always wanted to be while scoring in exams at the same time. Fucker! Who says you cant be a straight A jackass? Scoring in exam and being a badass motherfucker are two different fucking things. Remember this,THERE IS NO SUCH THINGS AS "YOU MUST BE A GOOD STUDENT TO GET STRAIGHT A’s". Those pious religious nerds came up to you and say,dont do this,dont do that,well..FUCK’em all. you want to live "student’s life" to the fullest? Repeat after me.."Fuck those religious nerds."

How to be that kind of person? Well,lets start from the inside out.. your inner soul must be as dark as the pit of hell while at the same time as enlightened as the light of heaven. Wut’s that? herm.. be a cold-hearted person,it’s not wrong to be hmorous at times,but be as cool as you can. use your mind more rather than saying things aloud. reading can help,but do make sure that u read un"nerdy" pieces. that explains the dark soul part but what about the latter? well, to be a straight a student u must also be well enlightened. Clear ur mind. reah your soul when it comes to learning in class. it’s for your own good. remember that these things you learn will help you be somebody great in the future. be practical and think logical. and most importantly, watch others as if they are pests waiting to be crushed and disgraced. show’em wut u’ve got.

Hurm..when u r ready inside,lets spend some money to change that stupid look you pull. shithead,go spend that money on something worthy of your money. allright,this is a subjective matter. u may buy anything you want to make you look good and feel good bout yourself. whether it be the pop star look, urban look, punk rock style or even the goth look or whatsoever..its all up to you and make sure you feel good about it. once you’re all nice wrapped up in those shit,it’s time to do activities to fullfil our goal;Living as a student.

Ah.. here’s the best part. Do note that you must first cover all of the syllabus in ur studies so that you wont be that dumbass nutcracker people always look down at. stop being a loser,THEN can only you enjoy this shit. Allrighty, lets explore the greater high life has to offer. get a chick. preferrabily a fuck buddy. now you can decide whether u want to start smoke or not. it feels good. and it sickens you. choose. i’m just listing here things you may want to try in your life. next up,booze. yeah,here in malaysia,it’s so easy to buy booze. they did’nt even ask for ur id,rite? on the health side, just dont overdo it aite? and dont go drunking ur way around walking like an asshole. go to clubs,lounge,hang out at a friends party. this is where "friends" is an important factor. crack however is only for those who really wants to be as "wasted" as he or she wanted to be.

now that you’ve done those things..doors to heaven on earth will open up and greet u with a wide grin. guilty conscience arises? hehe, just do well in your exams and there’s nothing to be felt bad about. hey, it’s students life shithead! be as happy as u want. dont supress ur inner needs. feed ur lust and ur greed. just make sure u have the mind and the brains of a genius. who am i talking bout? YOU.

now let me introduce you to a type of people that i call "shits with power". ah ha.. dont mess with these people,however work your way around them,manipulate them and lastly, destroy them if you can. these are the people that grew up as nerds,geeks and bitches who didnt have a chance to be like us and busted their ass as hard as they can just to get in the position they are in now. i felt sorry for them BUT!! remember.. they have power. these includes the authorities..the deans.. the lecturers..even the guards.. persons with positions that can supress ur needs. be alert and cautious. no matter what you do be careful. pack up knowledges on law and break them in a clever way.

now that i’ve told you these..be a great person u’ve always want to be. all i’m saying here is dont supress ur needs. dont curb that feeling to enjoy a student’s life. just make sure that you can score well in your exams. there are tonnes of other activities for you to fill that blank in your heart. gigs,guitars,sex,nite out at places with yer friends,go to events,parties,laugh out with your friends..the keyword here is to follow your hearts need in a smart way. be reasonable. be liberal. open ur mind. just dont flunk your studies, dont do drugs(hell,even if you do, i dont care), dont get caught and ENJOY THIS LIFE.   <Prof Kei on Learning Tips For Dummies>